TRAVEL LIFE AND HAVING A PURPOSE

I have strong emotions in relation to social media lately. A part of me tells me to chill... who cares what people do with their lives or even if they're pretending, or faking, or whatever. Its not my business.. my business is my life. But my more human side, who doesn't care about anything, just feels and expresses, gets angry and annoyed and critic.
And after all, its not about all the people "out there" faking to have the perfect life, it might be what I FEEL about that in my own expectations that annoys me.

Anyway, I have a tremendous desire to open my wings and fly free. Its always there when Im not feeling 100% free. I want to work also, I want to be productive or more than productive, feel that I have a purpose. I know I have a purpose with Max, my baby, but a more global purpose, something that Its more unique about me, not being a mom and the daily stuff that we all do. Something more personal. Something. I dont know.

But, the desire to break free is here. Always. Living in a Van was perfect, and we are coming for more. We are saving money to go again in another van. Something more 4x4. The only thing that we need to do this time is to have a purpose while traveling. Sometimes too much free time makes you feel youre not doing anything with your life. Thats a gift, to be able to have spare time. But also we need a purpose, a mission, something that we look forward to. It would be perfect if that gave us money also so we could travel, work and have a purpose.

I am now in Chile... its been hard at first. My first instinct is to run away... to the unknown. Then comes England. in two more months we are going back to England for some months to make money. Not quite looking forward... since it feels like "home" as well... I just want to get on a vehicle and disappear into whatever lands we find. I cant help it. I was born wanting to explore.

I want to share with the world (whatever world means) a life, a real life. And there are millions of people that have a real life. A life with day to day things.... things that to the eyes of the majority are nothing.. but to my eyes, it is real life. A life with love, loss.. happiness, boredom, enthusiasm, lack of motivations, ups and downs... an adventure. A life full of not knowing whats next. A life with an open mind. I look back and I've been so many different things... And even in periods where it seemed forever at the time, after some time, the complete opposite was manifested.
I've been through stages in my life, of a year, or maybe more, a year and a half of being like a monk in my moms house. I didnt want to go anywhere. I spent time with plants. I was afraid. I had had cancer for a month, and I was too emotionally vulnerable, too angelic... too sensitive to every energy... to magical... too emotional for this world. So I just spend time with my books and plants. And just a couple friends. I didnt wanna see many people. I still kept my sense of humour but I enjoyed my jokes at home.
And I thought that was going to last forever, I had no clue how I was going to get out of that state. I didnt see myself brave enough to go out in this world with so much energy around me. But guess what. It happened. Now I feel 1% of what I felt then. Now I dont feel as much. By choice. Im less sensitive to other energy, I grew a thicker skin. I can still feel but I dont give a #"!#!" hahah... before, It was too much to take.
And then all this happened... I went to work in Patagonia, I went to work in Canada, I spend years travelling, I met Simon, we had Max, so many things in so little years. 7 years to be exact. in 7 years all this has happened.
So life changes, constantly. My life is an eternal adventure. Now Im here, Tomorrow Ill be there, and what comes next, comes next. I dont think I will ever want to settle, but if i Do, I might do, who knows.