I AM A PATH FINDER

Which means I am an adventurer, 

a life lover, a present moment lover, an explorer of the unknown, a welfare seeker,

who worships mysteries, friendship, new paths, new ways, craziness, happyness, loyalty, courage, freedom and 

 ♥ AUTONOMY ♥

MI DIARIO: 12 de Febrero 2011

Escucho el sonido del lago, y pienso que me gustaría salirme del cuerpo. Ojalá pueda, porque ya no me da miedo. Ahora que estoy sentada en la mesa de la casa de abajo y no estoy pensando en el año en que estoy, me siento como me he sentido todas las veces que he estado sentada aquí. Como si todas esas veces fueran hoy. Como si cada uno de esos momentos fueran parte de un todo.

Estoy en esta casa con Andrew, con la Cata Yanquez, con el Tatan, Pipe y la Cata Jara... con la Maida, con mis Papás,... acá en este mismo lugar he vivido todo eso, y ahora estoy sola sentada, con el Tommy acostado en el sillón, el Tatán durmiendo, y todos los recuerdos se han esfumado. Son parte de mi pasado y todo ha quedado en su lugar.

Muchos en mi vida ya no existen porque yo decidí despedirlos. Nuevos han entrado en mi vida y es porque yo voy donde hay luz, y me alejo de la sombra.

Ya han muerto los días en que no sabía elegir lo mejor para mi, cuando dudaba de mi moral y creía en la de los demás. Hoy es un nuevo día; un lindo comienzo para quienes deciden creer en ellos mismos y elegir el mundo en el que quieren vivir y la vida que quieren tener. Así lo declaro yo, quien hoy elige la luz, las personas amorosas, la compasión y la bondad. Hoy no hay dudas de esto, y así será.

Carolina Silva.

LA FEMINIDAD

Para mi la feminidad significa dulzura, ternura, comprensión, delicadeza, armonía, empatía, amorosa, protectora. La mujer da vida, la mujer tiene un profundo sentido de lealtad, la mujer ama y se entrega, quiere que la contengan. Y ella operando en este nivel es muy poderosa. Es capaz de darlo todo y de vivir todo. No le teme a nada. La mujer femenina que llevo adentro vuelve a salir. Deja atrás el sentimiento de inferioridad y sale a vivir su potencial e irradia su luz. No potenciar la feminidad desde un lado meramente sensual, explotador de lo más puro y místico que hay en ella. Su feminidad se expresa en su delicadeza, en su intuición, como las flores. Suaves, ligeras, hermosas. Aportan con todo su esplendor. La flor no necesita explotar ninguna de sus características para cautivar, o para asimilarse a un cactus. La flor es la flor. Maravillosa como es. Eso soy yo, y eso voy a recupear. Mi feminidad innata, mi origen, y mi fertilidad, mi instinto maternal, mi intuición. 

En todo lo demás, Universo ayúdame con esta intención. 

So be it.

Nature, Love, Self

Motivation makes me feel in love
Music makes me feel in love.
It feels so real, that for a second I wonder If I love someone right now
And In the wide spectrum of my thoughts, I find swifts images, but not one clear.
Where does that genuine happiness come from?
Why did it show up all of a sudden?
Is it going to fade away?
I will run after my happiness until I catch it and get it back
I will tickle my happiness until It cant laugh any harder
My voice will awaken the spirits
And I will finally see
how true power doesnt need any space
Just like a tiny seed has all the power to create the biggest tree on earth
The power in me, and in you, are enough to.... (do/be/create/.../whatever you want).
You just need soil, water and light.

Light reminds you of something you need but cant get it without having darkness also, but at the same time that is what makes you live and grow better.
Water, something that you eventually need, sometimes you get it more than other times, but nature is in charge of that and you cant do anything about it, just trust it. As a tree, you dont know when is going to rain, or when is going to be summer, but either way, nature is going to provide you of the water you need.
soil, reminds you of your roots, the more your branches and trunk grow, the more your roots grow. Remember that you are not only what you see of yourself. theres the same amount of "you" down the earth (represented by your roots) that you might not know about, but exists. A part that sustains you, and the earth that supports you and allows you to grow as much as you want.

Passion like Flowers

Blooming and Shinning
Great as it gets,
With Love the activity
with petals the rose.
With a smile a smell
With a smell a noise
The rainbow shinning
As great as it gets.

Blooooooooooooooooom
Says the rabbit,
the flowers heard
The sun saw
And the earth felt.
Everything happened in the only way
And now raise your sights
And sing that song.

Fish to Earth

Fish to Earth

Dark seed of pain

confidence in action

Lack of it on

Blue muscles

Drawn by the ocean

Lemon in this bottle

entertaining for a color blind

Let's all talk about noises

in front of deafs

Trying to keep it simple

Everything for everybody

If you can´t move, If you can´t  think

at least about anything but the pain

Ease your mind and take a break.

Be prepared, the daylight will come

kidnapping you from hell

and then you shall come back

with rainbows in your eyes
telling me where you are.

Psychologist out of control

This person came up to me and asked If I had something to do with his headache. Well, I said, is not something that I can really tell, but If you think so, It might be it. This really silent person kept staring at me and I was really having one of those bad days. I just saw on the TV that the world was soon going to end and I decided to take my "lack of patience" to any extent if I felt so. 

I stretched my arm straight, moved that person out of my way and kept on walking through the corridor of the hospital. "What a day" i thought... I just woke up with the wrong mood and It was perfectly ok with me unless someone really bothered me. I wanted to spend time alone in a quiet place so I went to play golf. I got off the car, walked to my locker, took my driver and the irons and started walking. I hit the ball and did great, so I felt my day was about to change! but the second time i swing the driver, i took a bunch of grass from the ground and the ball didnt go anywhere. I was just so pissed that I left the golf court and hit the windshield of someone else's car with one of my irons and kept on walking... but as the alarm of the car was making this annoying noise i felt rage. 

I was driving and suddenly when the yellow light was about to turn red, the most slow old lady decided to cross the street at the amazing speed of 0.001 miles per hour. Stupid people I thought... and i accelerated until i was almost an inch next to her... she got scared and started mumbling words that I could barely figure out what they meant, but the worse part is that people started honking their horns at me because i my car was standing passed the line.... 

I started speeding in the highway to get home, and within 2 minutes I saw a police car following me.... WHAT A DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A SHITTY DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! i was screaming inside the car while i decided to f***** escape. I just pressed the clutch, start changing the shifts and acceeeeeeeleraaaaaaaaaaaateeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! 

It was like a movie, I was having fun I must admit but then I got busted. Whatever.... the world was going to end soon right? I got so lucky tho because the police officer had a son with schizophrenia and I told him that I just had a bad day and maybe I could treat his son if he just let me go. And he agreed considering that I have a doctorate in this disease, and I could help him out better that anyone else. Its because my passion in life is psychology, and because the specific thing ive dedicated so many years studying is schizophrenia, that I decided to give him a hand. Also because I was diagnosed schizophrenic when I was 11. Since then, I know exactly how to understand people with this fabulous crazy type. But it depends, I hope he doesnt turn into a headache for me. 


No jail, and no headaches. 

lucky day!